*sunlight hits your laptop screen*
every piece of dust in the world
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
Whenever I hear people say that classical music is boring I just want to remind them that Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture called for a cannon to be fired a total of 16 times.
remove cattle from stage
that’s not even the best partkey terms include:
- “balance your chair on two legs”
- "continue swimming motion"
- "insert peanuts"
- "play ball!"
- "release the penguins"
- "gradually become agitated"
- "light explosives now….. and….. ….. now."
I needed a new toilet seat so I went on ebay and searched for “toilet seat unicorn”
I’m so going to buy it.
I bet yall didn’t believe me
This just in: brown people do not have normal skin.
Americans for you.
"Americans" lol this is Australia.
Why the fuck does it matter where they came from? Fucking stereotyping Americans. Nationality has nothing to do with it. This is fucking racist and prejudice.
I see u tagged this as ‘ignorant sluts’ and i think u need to unfollow me now